by Prof. Froz Scrote'um. Photo: Prof da Inspecta
The consumation of time by human body is due to an exterior force other than what we know. This force I shall name "John". No make that "Bruce". Any way, Bruce is a powerful force inhabiting only the greatest of people. This is why most people are late. To be a great person you must do three things. These are: 1) Hold cups of tea with the left hand when removing hair from the head. 2) Hold the tea as steadily as possible when nearing stairs. 3) Carry at all times a selection of fine young cannibals, just inside the jacket or coat, by the inside pocket (If you do not own a jacket or coat with an inside pocket you can never hope to be great).
The photograph you see above is of such a great person. He holds his tea correctly and appropriately and has some of the best fine young cannibals available. As you can see he is clearly in contact with Bruce and is always spot on time. Incidentally he also has a fine selection of old cannibals and hamster pelts. His identity has been disguised using the latest technology in order to provide highest comfort while in disguise. He is of course a great guy.
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