Rot the Badger

by Prof. Scrote'um & Dr. Chuckles Sackit

One fine day Rot the Badger found that the air in his room was getting particularly uneven. So, after pondering multiple solutions to his conundrum, he walked over to the opposite side and breathed extreamly hard in a shallow attempt to sort this problem.

After 5 minutes his chicken tikka slippers had been microwaved to a golden cristpy finish by the excess of toxins in his breath. At that moment, Perrywinkle the half-breed monkey / goat fell quite ill after attempting to mix the chicken pox virus with jelly. Later that day Mrya Collchester, ironically from Colchester, burst into flames when re-enacting the famous nudity scene from Beaty and the Beast.

After seven rounds of toast and a slight sanding down of Ms. Collchester's breasts and other important items, the sex began again, only to be rudely interupted by the supporting cast of Oliver. Quite pissed off by the sudden outburst of the Ibola virus, Mr. Collchester quickly burst in to find his wife rubbing monkey grease into her forearms. With that, the stress was too much to take and he rubbed himself down with monkey grease too, which is widely prized for it's medicinal properties. Next on the shopping list was cheddar cheese, but he decided to forget about Safeways for the minute and slipped into the giant pea-pod next to Mr. Beast. "What is ze purpose of Meaning?" asked Mr. Beast. "Well, who the fuck do you think I am?" the Grandfather of All Knowledge replied. "Your the bloody cameraman!" said Mr.Beast "Anyway I wasn't talking to you."

Back at Rot's house his golden cristpy chicken tikka slippers were causing quite a stir among the locals. 'Yum, yum, yum' was the war-chant bellowing from the cookie jar, but no one heard it because a sudden silent had taken over the hens, who now rammed goat's livers down their throats like toasted socks upon the infinite feet of time.