пятніца, 14 снежня 2007 г.

The Witty Bugger's Dictionary

by Dr.Chuckles Sackit & Prof. Froz Scrote'um

The Witty Bugger's Dictionary
A concise yet condensed guide to language.

denote; (a) to unwrite a memo. (b) to do nowt.

nowt; (a) the absence of "wt". (b) a newt of the minute.

absence; (a) common sense held in the abdominals..

manner; (a) someone who makes men.

universal;(a) a versal with one wheel. (b) a man called Allen who is like, in appearance, a universe.

symbol; (a) to walk with an unsteady limp.

unsteady; (a) a day in which we celibrate "unstead". (b) a teddy bear belonging to the United Nations.

celibrate; (a) what monks' are. (b) a rate on which celebrities are payed.

monk; (a) a small monkey. (b) the word "monkey" to someone who can't say more than one syllable.

newt; (a) to surgically make impotent. (b) a previously unavailible nowt.

impotent; (a) the tent in which newted people sleep. (b) a phrase used when your potent. (c) a tent in which an imp frolics.

sleep; (a) what happens when you run accross a wet floor.

floor; (a) to beat and cain with rug or carpet. (b) an ore with floral decoration or wings.

cain; (a) a "c" in pain. (b) to kinkey whip.

kinkey whip; (a) to lash with flex the key of kin (b) icecream used with sexual intension.

whip; (a) to girate or froth cream or other dairy products with a whisk. (b) Indiana Jones' only weapon angainst the viscious tribes and dangerous animals of the jungle.

flex; (a) an ex-flea.

. ; (a) a universal symbol used to denote the end of a sentence. (b) A camel from a long distance.

uphill garden; (a) to tend to flowers crops or shrubbery upon an incline.

yer; (a) to exclaim in disbelief. (b) to be of "yours", such as "move yer arse!".

disbelief; (a) to mess with someone's faith.

suck; (a) to inhale orally, thereby creating suction which attracts nearby matter. (b) to be really bad.

matter; (a) the occupation of making annoying welcome mats. (b) the act of beating a female with a small course rug.

orally; (a) to beat Ally about the head with a boats ore. (b) to lie down utilising the mouth.

hence; (a) to create a hedge or fence from chickens. (b) to sword fight using a very thin, long hedge.

To to; (a) to have designs placed into the skin. (b) an inconspicuos way of describing taking a shit.

knob; (a) to shag, bang, fuck, screw, have, do, pump, bugger or any other kind of sexual penetration. (b) to poke with the penis.

course; (a) to navigate around. (b) to swear or verbally abuse.

navigate around; (a) to sucessfully steer about a spherical object. (b) the act of avoiding buying everyone a pint.

everyone a pint; (a) to be stood in a room of midgets.

midget; (a) to get in the middle. (b) to midg extra terrestrials.

thing; (a) to sing with a lisp. (b) a very slim "G".

act; (a) a phrase used to bring forth phlegm from the throat. (b) the German word for "eight" used to bring forth phlegm from the throat, sometimes into the oncoming face of a possible attacker.

german; (a) a race of people who live in Germany. (b) the fusion of man and gerbil.

gerbil; (a) the bill for "gerring".

moosolar; (a) scale used for singing practice. (b) a cow that runs on solar power.

penis; (a) to spell "Denis" wrongly.

froth; (a) substance emitted from one's mouth when having a fit. (c) the result of gene splicing between frog and moth.

mouth; (a) to eat, consume or devour orally. (b) when the "n" in "month" dies.

organism; (a) discrimination against organs.

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